


The Most Embarrassing Moment of my Life -- From the (not-so) personal journal of Canid Slashclaw

by Mevelar



Category: Guild Wars 2
Genre: F/M, guild wars 2 fan fiction, gw2 charr, gw2 fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25678459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mevelar/pseuds/Mevelar
Summary: A lonely, ash-trash charr ranger gets more than he bargained for when he meets a certain gal.
Kudos: 4





	The Most Embarrassing Moment of my Life -- From the (not-so) personal journal of Canid Slashclaw

Why am I even telling this?

Yeah. I know… I’m drunk as fuck and bored out of my cotton-picking mind.

Now where to begin?

It was back in the Black Citadel when my warband and I decided to swing on over to the canteen for a few rounds. Some of us wanted to get into a few good scraps or two while others, like myself, just wanted to get laid.

Our warband was assigned to patrolling the Oldgate Clearing in the Diessa Plateau. Ascalonian ghosts had been harassing the supply caravans so it was our job to contain the threat. We had fought those shimmering shriekers for over a year and felt as if we had little to show for our efforts. Every time we would put one of them down, they would show right back up the next day.

Anyway, for the sake of guarding our own sanity, we had to put in a request for a little R&R. Upon our request, we were told that our warband was being assigned a new legionnaire named, Daegal Jawsmasher. It so happened that the new commanding officer just also happened to be my sire.

‘Great..’, I thought to myself. ‘Now I’m going to play the role of a good son a well as a good soldier. Nooo pressure at all.’

The two, forty-ounce lagers were already beginning to take their toll on me. And that’s when I saw her; sitting at the other end of the bar,  _ alone _ . Mustering what little sense of balance I had left, I ambled on over to introduce myself.

‘Name’s Canid. What’s yours? Mind if I buy you a drink?’ She looked at me with those golden eyes and smiled. The spots on her face made her even cuter when she grimaced.

‘ Emira Lightshatter’s the name. I’m toasted as well. But sure… I’m not gonna say no to  _ free _ .’

I sniffed the air. She was in season. Even better!

‘Emira, huh. I like it!’ She was clearly on the hunt as well for a good fuck. ‘Ole Canid here was more than ready to oblige.

‘I bet you do. Your tent or mine?’

By Baelfire’s burning ass, that was quick! She already had a few lagers in her… probably more than me, in fact. Heh. I didn’t think I’d be making a score this quick.

‘Mine is double-wide. Perks of being Ash Legion.’

She reached over then clasped me by the muzzle with her pawed hand then said to me with a sensual purr, ‘Ash Legion, eh? Like it in the shadows, do you? So do I!’

‘Rough or smooth, baby! You ask, I’ll deliver.’ Yeah. I know. Lame pickup line. But both of us were too drunk to even care.

The rest of what happened between the canteen and when we got to my tent all seemed like a blur. She mentioned something about her warband and her dam being the leader, but everything else had faded into intoxicated oblivion. When we arrived (at the tent), one of the first things we mutually abandoned was our clothing. The first thing I couldn’t help but notice was how light the rest of her body her fur was in relation to her face and hands.

‘Yer fur is a lot whiter than your face and mane. That’s the weirdest pattern I’ve ever seen.’ The comment resulted in my face immediately receiving four claw marks from the swipe of her right paw.

She likes it rough. Oh yeah!

‘And your pattern is weirdly similar to mine.’ Wow. I didn’t notice that little detail. But then, I didn’t care either. I just wanted to fuck.

Like a kitten in heat, she sprawled out on my bed with legs apart just ready to take me in. Like a tiger lunging in for the kill, I foisted my hormonally charged body upon her. I hated to admit this, but damn, she was good! She thought I was good too.

We must have been going at it for a solid hour when it happened…

‘Hey, Canid. What the hell is going on in there?’ Hambly Bluntclaw was not the sharpest tool in our warband.

‘Can’t you hear we’re busy!’ Emira shouted between primal growls.

‘Yeah. What she said.’ I was already pissed.

My other bandmates, Larka and Silas, also decided to chime in. ‘Oh my gods! Canid: are you and Emira actually… you know?’

‘...gettin’ it on? Isn’t that obvious?’ My temper was about to boil over. Larka Razorclaw – she could be such an asshole sometimes.

By now, _all_ of my warband mates were bursting out in uncontrollable laughter.

‘By the titan gods… shouldn’t we tell ‘em?’ I heard Silas Clawswipe say.

‘Why? This is too damn funny! Oh gods, if they found out.’ I think it was Larka who said it.

‘Hey guys, we gotta submit this to the Bernie Lomax Show. It’s a real winner!’ Silas said for sure.

‘ _ Bernie! Bernie! Bernie! _ ’  Came the synchronous chant from my warband mates who were completely bent over with hysterical laughter.

Yeah. I’ve heard all about the Bernie Lomax Show. Hell. I’ve even seen a couple of performances myself, just for kicks. He bills himself as Tyria’s master of trash telecasting. I remember one show where he interviewed an asura who had his consciousness transferred to a golem in order to avoid paying child support to his ex wife. His reasoning: he could legitimately say that he was _not_ the biological father of his child. How fucked up is that?

Getting tired of their bullshit, I let out a guttural growl while Emira was still snarling and moaning in ecstasy. ‘What’s so godsdamn funny? What am I to find out?’

‘Oh shit!’ I overheard Larka suddenly say in a panic.

It was ironic, but within the next few seconds, I was about to find out. Legionnaire Daegal Jawsmasher burst through the tent flap door and he saw me prostrate atop Emira. But it was the word that would forever shape what followed.

_ Sire! _

It was the only word that came out of both Emira’s mouth and mine at the same time. He was not only my commanding officer and father, but her commanding officer _and_ father too.

‘By the Khan-Ur’s cubs… I’m gonna need some serious therapy now...’ My mind was in a state of catharsis.

‘I… I just want a long, hot shower,’ was all Emira could say.

The only thing she and I could agree on after that night was the need for a drink so strong that both of us could pass out from and forget that the whole incident ever happened.

Moral of the story: always get the complete lineage on someone before you decide to fuck them.


End file.
